Get Your Ex Back, Save Your Marriage And Stop Your Divorce
I am LOST!!
Hello,
My story is as unique as some of them on here but here it goes, I had been in a relationship for about 3 and a half years. Long story short, she wanted to break up due to family reasons and things ended for her very fast. I cant come to the terms on how she has moved on so fast. We lived together and did everything together ever since we started dating. We were on the final stage of meeting her parents and closing the deal. Her parents didnt appreciate certain aspects about the relationship and that made her just cut me loose. She is already decided on moving on and trying very hard to move on but she would call me from time to time when she is at a restaurant we frequented or when she thought of me. I have been trying to give her some space but it is very hard as I still have a big hope that she is going to come around. I just think her parents opinion impacted her very negatively and caused her to make drastic changes. I am left in a limbo to pick up the pieces and move on but I just keep hoping she will come around. When we talk, ofcourse I still have very strong feelings but she talks as if we just had been frineds since a long time. She never displays any emotions or affection. We are broken up but I am just so lost in terms of how to move further from this and or wait for her and see what happens. LOST
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on -
Nick, I feel for you. But see it this way: it's hard enough to be in relationship with ONE person. In her case, you were in relationship with her and her parents. And it just so happened that her parents weren't that into you, correct? I'm not sure the reasons but this is never going to be a conducive state to have a lasting relationship.
I had to cut off one of my friends because she was in the way of my relationship with my new guy. She was actively resisting it and made it difficult for me/him. Who needs that? I could cut her because I am independent. Could she ever? It's her parents. And anyone who is reigned by their parents or any outside factor isn't the best mate material in the long run. There are too many relationships being ruined by the influence of a third party.
Make it easy for you. Be firm in your self-love and self-confidence. In the end only when you can love yourself to the fullest, you can be the best partner in relationship.
So accept it, she's NOT the one. She never was and you dodged the bullet by having this dysfunctional relationship end now instead of later.
In the end our life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it. The ability to shift your perspectives and attitude is the key to your peace of mind. Agree?
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Permalink Reply by Nick on -
Katarina,
Yes, you are absolutely right! I just feel that I wasted so much time building that relationship and now I am back to square one, but I understand struggles of life and things are not always as easy as we portray them.
I am going to take my time get over it eventually. It just seems impossible at the moment as I am blinded by my emotions. Thank you so much for your prompt reply and I really appreciate your help. It is going to be a challenge but I do have to find myself back and get my confidence and respect to the level it should be. I guess its true what hurts the most are the things you change for.
Again, thank you so much!
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Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on
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You're very welcome. There is no such thing as time or relationship wasted. You always gain something out of it, at least a lesson or two. And it's part of your journey as a human being.
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Permalink Reply by Mim on -
Hi Nick. I agree with Kat - it's not wasted, because every relationship helps you grow and learn things about yourself and how to love another person - and you take that learning and growth into your next relationship. If you can think of the relationship that ended in terms of a "school" that you graduated from, maybe that can help you feel better about the time spent and all that you invested there. Please let us know how things go as you move through these circumstances. ~ Mim
"Katarina, as a "red blooded" kind of guy, I would credit you with more insight into us guys than ANY woman I have ever encountered in my entire life. You are spot on. I would go so far as to say that you have a gift in terms of your capacity to understand us guys. We live in a world where - it seems to me - so many women don't want to understand men, they just want us men to think like women. Presumably this would be convenient because it would make us guys easier to understand, deal with, and control. So we spend a lot of time getting our asses shot to pieces for no other crime than being men and thinking like men. I have to congratulate you for your unparalleled and phenomenal ability to realise that we males are what we are. We are not evil for our failure to function like women. We retire to our man caves occasionally. It's the way it is." -Christopher Akenfelds, Australia
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