Get Your Ex Back, Save Your Marriage And Stop Your Divorce
I find myself in a pretty strange predicament. I currently live in the same house as my ex in a group house. He broke up with me one month ago after dating for a year and a half while I was visiting my parents one weekend at 4:30 am via text. He had been drinking at the time and we had just tiffed because I was having high expectations (he hadn't called me all weekend and I didn't trust his motives, albiet in hindsight, they were innocent). I asked him if the break up was legitimate the following day and he stuck to it. When I came back to our shared home, I asked if we could meet and when we did I told him I respected his decision.
To give a short back story: I lived in the group house first and he moved in in Oct 2011. I was dating someone else at the time. When my old relationship ended in Jan 2012, my ex swooped in and started talking to me a lot about our common interests and about our past relationships. We slept together twice and I told him I wasn't interested in doing it again unless I was in a relationship. He committed to me. We became close in a short amount of time-- sharing a bed every night, all of our best friends were the same, we were both pursuing music careers. We supported each other fully in our artistic endeavors. Over time, I had to get a day job, which I hated. I started clinging to him more and he pulled away. Since I had yet to read Katarina's book, I had no idea that men even did this. I assumed he was interested in other women and started to become insecure. I also became insecure when his music started taking off more and I was stuck in my day job. On some level, I thought he perceived me as a loser. I didn't realize to what extent my pulling had pushed him away until the break-up occurred.
Since our break-up: I have been working hard on my dreams and focusing on myself. I read Katarina's book and have been leaning back. So far he has just contacted me via gchat to send me some funny links and has invited me to a facebook event. There have been no calls or texts but we also live together.
We still see each other often in the house but I am always either in a conversation with someone else or am leaving to go to a date or an event. Any interaction we have had has been friendly with a lot of laughs. He has talked about mutual friends and about previous things we used to talk about as a couple. In his room he still has all the gifts that I gave to him lining his walls. The only awkwardness is he won't keep eye contact with me when we do talk in person.
I found out last night that a week and a half ago, he slept with a stranger after being egged on by our guy friends. Supposedly, he had no interest in her. I realized that the only times he has contacted me online was after that encounter.
Do you think a situation such as this is salvageable? I know we found ourselves in one of the weirdest situations, but I truly believe we have a deep connection and we are also still attracted to one another. I've just been focusing on letting go and remaining in my feminine energy while also passionately pursuing music and fitness. It's hard to tell if he has taken notice or if he thinks I have just moved on (he is the shy type who probably won't pursue even if he is interested).
Is there any time when you should perhaps let him know you are still interested if he is a "girl makes the first move" type of guy? Or should I just wait for him to reclaim me if he ever is compelled to?
Any thoughts are much appreciated!
Hi S, focus on improving yourself and working on your insecurities because if those aren't fixed you'll be thrown in the same situation. When you are more secure, you'll naturally be happier and less prone to desire an unavailable guy or guys who don't put in efforts. Till then any effort to try to attract him back will only backfire. He will see your shifted energy once you accomplish those things and re-ignite his attraction.
Keep pursuing your dreams and passion and meet other guys if only to expand your horizon and raise your vibration. Keep ups posted.
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