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Get Your Ex Back, Save Your Marriage And Stop Your Divorce

Oh No, Now my Ex and Another Great Guy Want Me Too!

Just got an email from Eve, a client of mine, who's been on coaching the last three months after a painful breakup from her 5 year relationship with her boyfriend.  She was in a devastated state 8 months into the breakup before finding me and finally deciding on coaching.


Katarina,
I can't tell you how grateful I am with your ongoing, very personal, sister-like support of me the last three months.  When I found you, I was in complete mess: gaining weight, depressed, moping around every day expecting that kind of behavior would attract my ex back.  

How wrong I was.  You told me to go out and date. At that time we were still having sex every now and then and I felt shitty each time 'cause everything was on his terms.  Dating was the last time I wanted to do.  Al I wanted was Sean, nobody else!  And I felt so lousy and unattractive with the weight gain and all.

But you told me to cite the mantra, "I know there is one man out there for me just waiting to find me" every day.  That's what I did, even when my heart screamed otherwise.  I wanted Sean and nobody else.  But you told me, that to attract my ex back, I have to be attractive to a lot of other men.

So I signed up for gym and yoga membership, lost 10 pounds in 30 days, and now I have lost 25 pounds and never felt better and confident about myself.  I took up salsa and had a great time once a week while burning more calories and meeting new friends with same interest.  I became far more attractive to Sean as he noticed my transformation, but still nothing happened.  We still slept every now and then, on his terms. :(

I signed up for a few online dating sites as well and went on a date at least once a week.  A month and a half into dating and 10 guys later, I met Dean.  We hit it right off, against all odds.  We've been seeing each other the last month and a half now.  

He asked to be exclusive just over the weekend...and I was flattered but not ready!  Half of me was still Sean's.  In elated confusion, I told Sean that if he wasn't to commit anytime soon, I was going to explore a possibility of a new relationship with someone new.

Sean was shocked, I could tell from his expression.  I told him to sleep on it as I would do the same.

I can't tell you how much he's been calling ever since.  He's in sheer panic.

Now I understand.  I understand completely what you've been saying all along.

I still love Sean, but I can walk away on him anytime to be with Dean who truly adores me. The ball is on his court -and mine too because if he doesn't man up, I can dump him anytime now.

Thanks so much for transforming me, for making me see the abundant world out there.  I'm expecting Sean to give me the "decision."  But you know what, no matter what, I know I'll be fine.  I can envision spending the rest of my life with Dean (he's so wonderful! I feel sick just thinking I might lose his affection anytime soon if Sean does come around...oh God, it's making me so teary-eyed, for the first time ever I feel okay if he doesn't come back)...just like you say when you feel you'll be okay without your ex you will attract him back.  I will take things slowly, this is my turn now to shine, to decide things on my term...and may the best man win!

Thank you, Katarina for being the light of my gloomy life.

Love,
Eve


Feminine magnetism is about vibe.  A woman projects that vibe of contentment and alluring self-confidence when she is being adored and wooed by a man.  That feels good.  That melts away resentment, anger, neediness, feeling of being neglected as most of us are going through after a breakup.

Dating for the sake of dating -and having fun-, with no agenda and expectations, is the way to be.  You practice the feminine allure and shape and sculpt it some more with every date you go with.  When you're happy in your own skin, it shows.  It' sexy and captivating.

A moment spent without feeling lousy is every moment gained in your book.  You should cherish it and build on it.  A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single -and small- step.  Success begets success.  

I recommend this ebook in particular to help you deal with the dark moments of being broken-hearted.  And get more support from me personally with half hour coaching for every purchase under $100, and one hour for every purchase over $100.


Ex Back System (with invaluable and extremely helpful one-on-one coaching with the author: daily messages for 60 days to motivate, guide and inspire you and email support) 

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on September 13, 2010 at 11:42am
The same day I wrote this post -just a few hours later-, by the power of "fate" and Law of Attraction, I met a wonderful man on a date. We felt butterflies in the stomach for each other almost instantly. Less than a week later (today is actually a week) we were so taken by each other: talking, texting each other every single day, and planning our first weekend getaway. He's really pursuing, wooing and courting me the way a man should a woman. And it feels great and empowering.

I never thought that just within a week my life might turn upside down.

I am so taken by him because he's so taken by me: by my feminine magnetism, and how I make him feel so masculine and vice versa. The masculine-feminine polarity between us is so strong that he is so completely drawn to my feminine energy and in the process I am to his masculine energy.

This is yin and yang in perfect harmony -for now at least.

I'm giddy and the sugar highs are very intoxicating. I find myself for the first time think of someone else other than my husband 24/7. That's great news! I have really "arrived." That's often the final phase of a reconciliation process -as also experienced by my client above- and the result might swing either way!

I'm excited to see how things develop in weeks/months to come. There is a lot to report for sure so... stay tuned!
Permalink Reply by billu sharma on October 21, 2010 at 1:59pm
Hi Katarina,
Thanx for creating this wonderful website.
I need loads of advice. Did not exactly know where to put this mail but anyhow her it goes.
I am just nursing a broken heart but have no intentions of re-connecting with my ex.
Hey, there is this guy in my gym that I really fancy.
He has kind of smiled at me on a couple of occassions but I am too shy and don't know how to take this further. I can't even bring myself to smile back as I am not sure what exactly is on his mind. I am not afraid of rejection but I don't want to make a fool of myself if you know what I mean.
Is there any way I could get him to approach me rather than the other way round?
Please treat this as SOS.
Warm regards,
Billu
Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on October 21, 2010 at 2:05pm
hi Billu, welcome!

Well, that's easy! First you have to give him the signal that you're interested by...smiling back!! Try that. Also maintain a few seconds eye contact. That makes a world of difference.

Be friendly and flirt a bit. Women just need to give a sigh with our body language that we are open to be approached.

Tell me how it goes.

Love,
Kat
Permalink Reply by billu sharma on October 26, 2010 at 4:27pm
Hi Kat,
Hope you are well.
i decided to go ahead with your advice. He came to the gym today after a gap and didn't look at me even once, sort of ignored me. He seems to have felt put off with my cold behaviour.
Guess , i have been pretty hopeless. Just that in front of him I feel so shy.
What do i do now. i just can't smile at him for nothing. There was no opportunity for eye contact also as either he looked through me or looked away completely. Previously it was different as he was showing a lot of interest. i feel like kicking myself for not returning the smiles earlier.
What do i do now. Have I lost himcompletely. No, i don't think so.
Should I just go to him and try to strike a conversation or will that make me look desperate.
thanks for your time. Your advice is always appreciated.
Billu.
Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on October 27, 2010 at 4:55pm
Yeah, why not. Go to him and ask for advice. Guys love it when you ask for their help...say what to do to tone up your arms or legs, or whatever.

Or just praise him for his biceps, his outfits/shoes, or be creative...think of something. :)

Good luck, and let me know.
Permalink Reply by billu sharma on November 5, 2010 at 7:15am
Hi Kat,
hope ur well.
I have good news.. fair news.
Early this week he was there with his friend( Who also keeps gives me knowing looks) and when I went to leave a dumbell his friend grabbed the bench that I was working on. I politely told him I still needed the bench n he apologised n moved on.
But hey, this fellow started staring at me in a way that made me feel quite uncomfortable.

I beckoned to his friend who came up to me n asked why is ur friend staring at me. Is he angry ? ( So, sorry instead of a praise I blurted out a complaint, ouch!)

The friend said, no ,no. He called him and come he did and sat on the bench opposite to me. His friend repeated my question n his ans was no, I was just staring into the mirror. (Imagine)
After that his friend bombarded me with a lot of questions including if I was still single and we had a sort of a tete a' tete . So things ended on a positive note
basically and yeah! i know his name now.Later on this person ( that I fancy) gave me a 50 watt smile that lighted up my day(that I did return ).

Anyways, what shd be the next step? I fancy him not the friend .The initial ice is broken but how do i ensure that things do not get stuck at a mere hye and bye
equation..Moreover these guys come to the gym only once or twice over the week .Please don advice to invite him over a cup of coffee as I just don't have the guts. I wd like him to take the lead as I am a bit of a novice .
Just wondering if they were also wanting to aquaint themselves with me all this while.
I am not interested in casual flings and this is another worrying thought.What if he is just not wanting anything serious or perhaps he has a girlfriend.
What if only the friend is interested ?
Puhleez Help!!!
Permalink Reply by billu sharma on November 5, 2010 at 7:20am
Hey, you'll also be glad to know that I have sprained my ankle (Badly) during a nasty fall in the dance class on wednesday and the doc has advised not to attend the gym for atleast 2 weeks( BOOH ! BOOH!)

And there is a guy who is professing love to me all the time and 2 others who are calling me on dates. I'll be going but i just can't seem to develop any interest in these other guys. My heart beats just for him. (Sigh.. ) What to do?
Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on November 5, 2010 at 11:27pm
Just go with them for the fun of it. Again, every opportunity for a date is a good class to learn on how to connect with men.

Tell me how it goes.
Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on November 5, 2010 at 11:26pm
No....never ask a guy out first. Just keep being friendly and be open. Talk/flirt with him once in a while, he'll get the message.

Find something to talk about next time. As I said, ask for his advice about weight lifting.

Don't get so worried about unimportant stuff you shouldn't worry about right now. This, if anything, is a lab for your practice connecting with men. Don't have too much expectation, just enjoy and be in the moment.
Permalink Reply by billu sharma on December 25, 2010 at 2:06pm

Dear Katarina,

                         Wish you merry Xmas .Hope Santa brings u a lot of presents.

Hey since I thought of talking with u today thought I'd give u an update on my situation.

That guy went on a holiday for 3 weeks in November and I saw him on a couple of occassions after that in December.

I said ,Hi on 2 occassions and  got a big smile in return on both these occasions but he didn't speak so I found it diffcult to initiate a conversation.

In the meanwhile his friend has been more creative and offered me his navigator on a day that I was working late hours and there was a problem in London with most of the routes being blocked.

Whilst returning it the next day I ended up chatting with him for a few minutes. Actually I mostly asked him about this person in a rather indirect manner.

 And this fellow9 that I like0 came from outside and shouted at him.He said something along the lines  that he was  waiting in the cold outside for 15 minutes, blah blah.

I found this quite unsettling and did not react  at all. He has absolutely no manners but I still like him.

But after this incident if I say" HI" I just get a very feeble smile. The warmth has disappeared.

So, to cut the long story short everything is going wrong.

 I am superbly confident but in front of him I become tongue tied  and get woobly knees. So, this is not going anywhere. I have a feeling he also has difficulties in talking with me but now his reaction has also changed.

Maybe since I can communicate with his friend more easily as he is more open I have given the impression that I like the friend more.

And I have a sneaky suspicion that he will not be coming to the gym anymore. His friend is away on  holiday for 2 months.

So, I was thinking what to do now.

I was just thinking of writing to him about my feelings as I feel a strong need to share my emotions without revealing my identity or dropping any hints.

I have actually been talking with lots of other people including dating but unfortunately it is kinda strange not even one of them is able to hold my attention for long. And I really have  a soft spot for this person. It has developed into something more than an infatuation now.

I have manged to found out a lot about him and I like those things and probably that 's the reason I feel so gravitated towards him. 

 I was thinking if he does come to the gym I'll make fresh efforts to engage him in conversation but if he doesn't then I have no way to go about doing this in the traditional way.

 

So ,please advice what I should do. i'll be happy talking to him as a friend at this stage as it is important to know him as  a person but if that is also not possible i'll be nursing a broken heart which will be painful.

And should I send that letter across. He will not know it is me and I do not intend to tell him so.

Any help from your end will be greatly appreciated.

PS: I know where he works and lives but I don't have any contact details.

Thanks a ton...

 

Permalink Reply by Katarina Phang on December 26, 2010 at 9:03am

Hi Bilu, I'm sorry to hear your heart is aching right now.  What letter are you talking about?  And what do you think that will achieve?

 

Listen, sweetie, lesson #1: always open your heart for men who are attracted in you, first and foremost.  You set yourself up for heartache and waste of time/energy by investing so much in a guy who is indifferent about you.  Move on, life is too short.

 

There are many great guys who will catch your fancy out there.  Don't settle and act desperate.  Everything is in the mind, especially in your case since you hardly know this guy.  You're in love with the idea of him or being in love with him.

 

Let go and find those men and enjoy the attention and affection they shower you with.  Last year I didn't think I would be attracted with any other man, today I'm head over heels with another man: a better match for me, in fact.  Today he's the main man in my heart, my husband doesn't even feel that close to my heart anymore (though I still love him).

 

Have an abundance mentality and abundance will come to you.  Keep me posted.  Happy new year to you and trust things will get better in the new year.

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