Painful breakup

Hi Katarina,

I've just signed up for this forum because you replied to my post at the Powerful Intentions website. I'd just like to explain my situation first: I've been dating this guy for more than five years (and he is considerably younger than me -- I'm turning 30 in two months) and he was my first really really true love. I though of him as the love of my life. We've been having problems for quite a while now -- he didn't want to settle down, he wanted to experience more in his life on his own etc. he already wanted to break up with me a year ago and I  just wouldn't allow it and told him I'd change etc. so then he finally went to Greece for a week in October and when he came back, broke up with me. He cheated on me with a girl there. And apparently he fell in love with this girl and is seeing her now, although she doesn't live close by. And this just hurts so much more!! I fell turned down. Plus he told me that throughout our relationship, he wasn't happy with our sex life -- that I was too stiff and passionless for him. But the thing is that we had sex once more after he came back from Greece -- at my initiative. and it was the best sex ever -- because I let all my emotions come out in the open for the first time in five years, apparently. He even said that. But that it was too late now ... And now he's all happy, doing things on his own, he even found a good job (he's still a student), and lost weight -- and all of this just makes things worse for me because he's turning into everything I've always wanted!!! God, can life really be so cruel? Looking back, I really was a bitch with him a lot of times, but he wasn't perfect either. Obviously ... But why the hell does it hurt so much? Because he was my first true big love? And I pictured spending my life with him? While on the contrary, he says that that was exactly he was afraid of -- spending the whole life with me ... I also have to say that our characters are really different -- he's very energetic, communicative, lively etc. and I'm very serious, think everything through ... (a Ram and a Capricorn). We've been talking a lot over our relationship, also from the viewpoint of the signs of the zodiac and astrology. he claims that we were both too dominant.

Anyway, it is me that can't cut him off -- I keep contacting him. he says that's n problem for him  because he already got over me six months ago (!), but that we should stop keeping in touch for my sake. otherwise I just keep having these illusions ...

So, after hearing my story -- can this ever work again?? I do want him back, after everything he's done to me. One of his reasons for breaking up with me was also that everything was too secure with me -- he could do anything he wanted and I still wouldn't break up with him ... that it was too static for him.

So am I completely crazy? Or is this just a normal reaction after such a big loss? I know I have to work on myself now, but damn it's just so hard ...

Would appreciate any good advice at this point:)

LOVE,

D.