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Passion And Detachment Are The Potential Cure To Emotionally Unavailable Men

What do guys find mesmerizing in a woman? It's a combo of passion and detachment. A man needs to feel he's pursuing you to invest emotionally in you. Many women demand reassurance by emitting needy and anxiety vibe verbally or otherwise. That does the exact opposite. Being self-assured makes him want to reassure you more through his actions. It makes him fall so deep for you. A lot of women don't know how to maintain attraction with guys because their heads mess them up.

So let him invest in you. How? By giving him the chance and space to initiate and pursue you. Without that investment he won't grow emotionally attached to you. People appreciate the things they have to work for. Neediness, asking "where is this going" is the antithesis to that desire to invest in you.

Men love to be in control. They want to make sure they're comfortable with the pace of the courtship. That's the main reason they pull away at times. They're slowing down the process to their comfort level. You pushing it forward won't make it move faster. Instead you'll build resistance in them and with it you create obstacles they need to overcome.

You don't want to be an obstacle. You want to be an invitation.

Click here if you have done all those needy things that pushed him away.  It still can be fixed

When he's resisting you, he won't feel safe. And without feeling safe he can't fall for you.

There is also another reason why time feels to run much more slowly for you. It's because "girl's time" is different to "guy's time." Men don't have their minds transfixed to relationship 24/7. Remember relationship is just a piece of the mosaic of his life vision. They need to feel somewhat comfortable in their life journey -that they can attain their life vision- to be emotionally at the place that he wants a committed relationship.

Women don't generally have this issue. Unless we are still broken-hearted or not over our last relationship/ex, we are always ready to be in relationship because relating and bonding feel good and natural for us. To testosterone-driven men, though, it also means responsibility and restriction to their freedom with the potential for unnecessary drama to their otherwise uncomplicated life. This is not something they take so lightly and they need some time to get used to this idea just like you need to little by little get your body parts soaked in the hot whirlpool water before you can feel comfortable to have your whole body sunk in.

Make Sense of A Man:  What Is He Really Thinking?

Unfortunately not many women understand this aspect about being a man so we are left confused, resentful or misinterpret their actions as "not that into us." Watch his actions. If he keeps coming back it means he's into you enough. Being into a woman, however, doesn't translate that he wants to have a relationship with her right at this second. He can still be very into you but feels he's not at the place to have a relationship with you or anyone....just yet.  There are more reasons to that, find out here.

He's being genuine about that. You as a woman might not be able to relate to this, you just have to accept it. It's nothing personal and it has nothing to do with you. It happens to even the best of us: women who have it all.

Remember a story of a frog being boiled slowly in a jug? The water doesn't get hot immediately but by the time the frog feels it, it's too late for him to jump out and he's boiled alive. Of course we don't mean it in a bad way when this analogy actually applies to "emotionally unavailable" guys too. It takes a while for them to feel safe so they can build connection with you and by the time they realize it they're in too deep emotionally already to just bail out of the relationship.

That can only happen when you lower their guard enough like that unsuspecting frog.

And let him invest in you and the relationship by making him feel in control like a man that he is.

I'm writing a guide to help women like you plod through the murky waters of dating "emotionally unavailable men" or men who are not ready for a commitment.  Please comment and share your issues with your EU partner with us below (please don't use your real name when registering to protect your privacy).  You can also PM me or click here for my coaching packages.  I can help you deal with this frustrating issue and turn the tables: have him pursue you instead because you are so irresistible.  

And last but not least, do you really want to find the ultimate cure to this problem?  I outline it in my new book: He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready.  This is the one book you need to solve all your dating/relationship dilemmas that most women face:

Tags: EUM, emotional, men, unavailable

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"Katarina, as a "red blooded" kind of guy, I would credit you with more insight into us guys than ANY woman I have ever encountered in my entire life. You are spot on. I would go so far as to say that you have a gift in terms of your capacity to understand us guys. We live in a world where - it seems to me - so many women don't want to understand men, they just want us men to think like women. Presumably this would be convenient because it would make us guys easier to understand, deal with, and control. So we spend a lot of time getting our asses shot to pieces for no other crime than being men and thinking like men. I have to congratulate you for your unparalleled and phenomenal ability to realise that we males are what we are. We are not evil for our failure to function like women. We retire to our man caves occasionally. It's the way it is." -Christopher Akenfelds, Australia

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