I have been reading your website and it has been very helpful. I was wondering if you could take the time to share some insight into how best I can go about reconciling with someone whom I'm very much in love with.
My situation is complicated as 2 years ago I was involved in a love triangle with my then boyfriend and the man I am now in love with. At first it started off as a casual fling but then it grew into something much more than that. When my then boyfriend found out I had cheated (he did not know the intensity of the r/s), we broke up. I was devastated as we had been together for 5 1/2 years and he was my first boyfriend/love. I spent the next year trying to get him back (i felt guilty and i thought i had ruined everything) whilst the whole time still seeing this man.
Overtime we fell in love and he was willing to put up with all my emotional baggage and confusion of not committing to him or getting over my ex boyfriend. He wanted me to be his girlfriend so much and would do anything for me - he treated me like a princess. We were pretty much in a r/s without the 'label' of one.
1 1/2 years later, in a weak moment, I slept with my ex boyfriend and I told this man. He was so hurt that he said he had no choice but to end it and maybe in a year or so when things have sorted itself out perhaps we can get back together with a clean slate. He said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do and was crying he eyes out when he told me. But he also said we may never get back together and he doesnt want to further hurt me or get my hopes up. He said he loves me but it was all too hard.
It has been 7 months since we have broken off the r/s. We keep in contact, mostly me initiating but at times so does he about every 2-3 weeks and have caught up over lunch/coffee 1 hour every month. He always responds but it not in the same loving tone that I would like (and obviously i understand why). We never talk about the break up or our future as he has said he wants to 'go with the flow' and see what happens and I do not want to pressure him or scare him away. He never pressured me into making a decision before so i feel i should do the same in this situation too.
I guess what I am asking is your advice as to how best to progress this reconciliation further? We have wonderful chemistry and get along so well. How do i express that I no longer see/or am in love with my ex boyfriend? I was also very demanding and unappreciative in the r/s.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.