Get Your Ex Back, Save Your Marriage And Stop Your Divorce
Women the world over are so used to conflicting messages from guys. One of the varying themes is how can a man be not ready for a relationship or not want a relationship when he wants to spend or is spending a lot of time with you? Why does a man date if he's not looking for anything serious?
What is this all about? Why are men so complicated?
Just in the same way that when a woman doesn't feel sexy she doesn't feel sexual, when a guy doesn't feel like he's on top of his game, it will affect how he feels romantically and -often- sexually. It goes back to the notion that guys can only focus on one task at a time. When his work issues (and work/career/his status in the world is always a number one priority for them) are the most urgent, he might not feel he is in the right place to start a relationship.
And when he doesn't feel most masculine (and that is always related to his place in the world), he is so much less inclined to romance a woman. It takes special kind of energy for him to do so.
Trust him on that; it's really not about you. He's just really not in that headspace.
What should a woman do then when most guys she meets in the market seems to one way or another fall into this emotionally unavailable category? Should she give him a chance while weighing her other options? Or should she just be firm that unlessthey are on the same page now, she won't waste her time dating him?
While in some cases, it is obvious that there is not enough spark, connection and compatibility for a woman to even bother giving this kind of man a thought, in so many other cases the grey area is so vast that it's hard for any woman to really get the right idea from the get-go what to do. Relationships are never devoid of any issue after all: big or small. The vast majority of relationships are not linear without a twist or turn.
Remember, stick to your deal breakers but do without "shoulds." It's about the delicate balance between boundaries and reality, especially in the beginning. Boundaries are necessary but at the same time for a man to want to heed them, the urge to do it should come naturally from them, not because of your demand. Not because you are applying strict rules on them. That's the only way it will work with a man (remember, men hate being controlled or pressured and it doesn't matter when you say you are not doing any of that, his perception is his reality).
You can only observe what he does and get conclusion from his behaviors. Your power is in walking away, not in demanding and convincing him to do things he doesn't feel like doing.
So yeah, as long as you know when to walk away, do entertain the possibilities of future commitment with him. And you don't have to be an emotional mess first either to feel the urge to walk away like perhaps the cautionary tale warns you against. Women with solid self-esteem won't wait that long to use that power (mind you, "waiting" isn't the word in their vocabulary either). It comes naturally with them because self-love comes first.
Needless to say, hence, when to know to walk away is an important component of maintaining -and even increasing- attraction with a guy. That gives him the message loud and clear that you are fully able of taking care of yourself and your own happiness and you will not let yourself languish in a situation in which your needs are not being met. You will take care of them with or without his help and you are not apologetic about it because you know at the end of the day you yourself is the one person you can rely the most. You are your own best friend.
You are the sort of woman he can respect and look up to. You are a girlfriend material.
Another thing is guys respond to distance, much more so than words from a woman. Many women think everything in their mind needs to be communicated. No, number one you will become a crying wolf very soon ("uh-oh, what else is bothering her now, time to space out"). Two, you lose a sense of mystery about you. Never lose a sense of elusiveness with a guy. Keep him excited by making him invest more to get to know you. That means you need to maintain a sense of autonomy and healthy distance.
That is also the thing that will keep you from being enmeshed in an emotional deep end of a dysfunctional relationship that is going nowhere.
Watch this enchanting video to learn seven vital tips most women don't know that you can use right now to instantly push a man's attraction trigger, reach his heart deeply, improve your love life and have him begging you to stay by his side forever.
Or click the banner below to learn some very fascinating facts about influencing a man:
And last but not least I'd like to announce the publication of my new book: He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready. This is the one book you need to solve all your dating/relationship dilemmas that most women face:
You're welcome. How are you?